Let me put it down hardboiled, conceited, fast paced, brutal and tough worded like it is: the thorough of the worldwide, affirmed, hot-shot corporation supported, high technology brass endorsed, widespread, mainstream approach to advertising on the net is entirely wrong. I'd rather believe it was meant as mere a joke, if the stubborness through which it is pursued would not compel me to believe there must be in action some unknown and eerie charm of some sorcerer's spell that persuaded so many minds such clearly false and unfit an approach would have ever been able to pay off and deliver. Period.

There is a whole new breed of vultures, Emperors of greed and ignorance, whose knowledge of the web-programming issues is non-existant, but who none the less flings itself on the internet with bare fangs and naked claws, both fore and hind, and with the eyebrowed attitude of the experienced backdoor guy, the pretence of the affirmed statesman's pragmatism, and the Bogey cynism of the lived man who travelled all the rough trails, looks upon you saying: «Heya look at me garçon: I'm a man who's no time to waste, allright? either the internet shows to me the money or I've better things to do».
Let me answer to these folks that the Internet has no need of such caporals to qualify itself.

While instructing a friend of mine on the use of the computer, we started recollecting the old tune times when I myself was the unexperienced one. I recalled the first time I got the internet connection; the modem dialing up like steaming horses, and once connected nothing happened on the screen. Very disappointed, I called the provider claiming: heya how comes, nothing happens on this side of the pond. The reply still makes me blush: strange Sir... how's possible... but Sir, have you launched the browser?
My friend started laughing at the story and got sorta insight that only good buddies can afford: «Yeah, ya called them and ya said: heya guyz I purchased the internet and got wired, so where's the boobs? I do complain! I'll file a denunciation against ya!... ha ha!»
We laughed since it was well targeted. Do not believe this applies only to isolated surfers: it happens to net venture managers as well. In fact implying as a young man your screen must yield stiff smooth & tanned boobs upon connection is neither more naive nor coarser than the attitude of those, young or elder, who go on the internet, load a silly banner, and then the next day open their cd-drive slot expecting it will let pop and hand them over a neat fastened stock of night-time yielded bucks: heya guyz where's the money? I'll file a denunciation against ya....

One of the reasons the internet paradigm appears at times not to live up to the expectations, is that the three strongholds of advertising on the net are the weakest possible ones:

• The Banner. Now please, be gentle, and explain to me how's been possible to believe, and to believe firmly, that a rectangle not bigger than a finger, might have ever been able to perform the same tasks traditionally assigned to those of a commercial on TV/Radio/Magazine.
• The Pop-Up Window
. I'm going to share a secret with you: we close them... don't tell anybody.
And let me add that having resorted, as a workaround, to loading a pop-up blending it with the blurring method (that is, putting the popped up window behind the main window so that the surfer might not realize it has been loaded, and will stumble into it only upon closing the main one) doesn't demonstrate the pop up is a good idea: it merely demostrates how's firmly rooted the biased prototype which wants the pop-up and the banner system like the golden better and only road to commercials on the web, and how miserably we stick to it: our imagination is just a chicken that gallops in its fenced den.
• The Click-It Idea. That's the funniest one. They do not just use blunt weapons by resorting to the formerly listed wises, but they also demand that the user, who is surfing a page that he intentionally and intently sought, should immediately leave what he eagerly looked for, just in order to click on a banner that is promising to give way to a perturbation, leave then the site of his/her interest, go to the new one, and once there even perform a purchase.
  They really estimate the success of a commercial campaign by the number of similar clicks yielded in such unfavourable conditions.
  Now: nobody would deem reasonable the campaigner who, printing the commercial of some beverage on a newspaper, would expect the reader lifiting from his/her couch as if levitated, leaving his/her house downright as soon as he/she sees the commercial, and rush to the closest bar to purchase immediately a whole bottle. None the less, we do deem perfectly reasonable those campaigners who cherish and find perfectly sound the very same expectation when advertising on the net. See-This-Tiny-Thing-Then-Click-it! Yeah, wanna get a laugh?

There is a difference between commercial conditioning and pavlovian conditioning, and they seem to detect no difference.

The good news is that this sarcastic guy has a new idea. Better, he has 6, all of them require a strongly planned approach and probably a thoroughly new figure (call them the Web Advertiser), and after these 6 ideas I have even better news.

1. Loading Time Ads: they get active as soon as the body tag of the page is reached, that is almost immediately if every script is loaded after the body tag (a practice that my technique strongly recommends). Even better, I recommend to insert all pages within an invisible frameset (with a small function to change the tiniest frame, say 1 pixel, background) so that you can use the second frame like an opportunistic container to preload images of the next pages in the line.
2. Timed Out Ads: they recur after a determined amount of time. Recurrence can be abolished if the user, for instance, accepts to interact with the ad (which increases the memorization of the brand).
3. Transictional Sliding Ads: they are the main type of my method, and they are those that appear when used the element of the page as described soon below.
4. Flying Ads: they fly around in the page all time.
5. Insulated Live Ads: similar to banners, but they are bigger and more complex
6. Inline Ads: that's easy: a small image in between a discourse... it can also be a tiny animation.

The even better news is that with such an approach you will be able to sell everything which constitutes a web page. Here I list objects that you can sell and for each of them the properties you can sell; you will sell:

• On loading of your page: upon loading a commerical can be displayed and finish as soon as the page has loaded.
  1. According to location: depending on the nature of the file.
  2. According to hour: if the user is loading the page at night and the page, for instance, is on clothes, you can show a commercial on night dress.
• Links
  1. According to Location: you can differentiate the type of commercial depending upon the type of pointed page: the user who clicks on a link described as leading to a page on music can get showed a commercial on CDs before being redirected to the desired Url.
  2. According to Hour: you can detect the hour and load a different set of commercial depending upon the part of the day. Is it night? Probably a commercial on CDs of blues or Jazz which stress out the relaxing nature of the music is better; is it noon? A commercial on pop music which might help the user to work better if he'd purchase and listen to it.
• Buttons
  1. According to clicks: on click a commercial can start, and once finished the original action linked to the button will be performed.
  2. According to hour: same as point 2 for links.
• Scrolling margins levels of the page, differentiating upon the level the surfer is scrolling at (through a hidden watermark which will reveal where the user is).
• Options in a drop down option menus
  1. According to value: each option carries a value (instance: list of cities, list of books, list of personal carachteristics): imagine just as an example a list of cities: an Hotel in Paris may be interested in showing its commercial to the user who already showed an interest for the voyage to Paris!
  2. According to hour: same as point 2 for links. Imagine the same user selecting for a flight to Paris and it is morning: a commercial on Paris Museums. Is it afternoon? A commercial on restaurants. Is it night? a commercial on Crazy Horse! Or imagine the same applied in case the user is selecting a desired date of arrival: knowing what time he wants to be there you can load a commercial that introduces the user to some item/facility in that city that can be used at that time: why not a Taxi/Cab Company with a phone number?!
• Checkboxes and radio buttons
  1. According to value: each box carries a value (instance: sex, profession, preferences): is the user a male? A commercial on shaving creams. A woman? A commercial on perfumes. Is he married? A commercial for a family vacation. Is he single? A commercial for a... strip bar!
  2. According to hour: same as point 2 for links or Options.

As you can see the potentials are immense: virtually every element of a webpage becomes an outlet of multiple coexistant commercials, an object that can entice commercials, and every element can be the target of different sets of commercials depending upon the environment variables that can be detected.
Moreover, such an approach allows to load a commercial which may really matter and be compelling to the user since it is fashioned upon the user's current choices deduced by the interactions the user him/herself elects to perform: and this feature is unique to the interent, could not be detected with medium such as Tv or Print. Wouldn't you say this is the golden way to advertising on the net? I wonder why they relied upon banners...
Commercials can rely upon special effects, and should be brief: ideally 15 seconds. The could be:

• Auto fading: the commercial shows a logo and an animation, then gets contented with that and disappear.
• User closed: once finished, a commercial may require the user to click on a logo eventually displayed as the last part of the animation in order to get the layer disappear. This is a stronger way to make an user remember a brand.
• Option closed: once finished a commercial may prompt an user whether to get the layer closed or to open -this time yes- a new window to the site of the product: the user may be granted a small discount; instance: a bar in New York shows a commercial to an european who was consulting a list of hotels in New York: after advertised the bar, the panel can show a prompt saying that if the user visits the page, he can get an identification number that, once provided at the bar, will grant him/her one free drink! We are aware of the setbacks, but please go on reading. Such numbers are easy to be generated, but they need a server side script, although a simple one: a random function can generate them, compare them with a database and if not used yet assign it to the user and store a copy of the user's number to the PC at the bar: once the key is used the free drink is given and the key gets deleted from the database, that simple. For a description including objections, see: A Commented Perl Example File
• Pushing Data: they can close printing out a form with phone numbers or addresses.
• Forcing Redirection: a commercial once finished can open a new window: but I personally discourage such practice: get your users becoming familiar with your commercials, entertain them, use this immense potential of being capable of delivering to him/her an ad which is tailored upon what he/she is already interested in, this is a striking prerogative that only the internet handles to you, make him/her interact/play around with the ad, be brief and stupify him/her, and then let him/her choose.

All the technology required is already at our disposal: JavaScript, Java, and Dhtml; and is entirely based on cross browser and multi platform languages that need no plug-in installed (like those absurd sites entirely relying upon flash: guess what: some users do not have the flash plug-in... But every user has a browser...) whose unique limits are:

1. The Browser must be a generation 4 browser
. Note that if this excludes about 15% of the surfers, what does it matter once you've been introduced to a land as wide as a prairie?
2. Some argue Flash is better: sure, provided you have the plugin (and if you argue who hasn't it, I would not just answer I haven't; but I would also ask back who hasn't a non dhtml compliant browser? For if you're ready to resort to Flash on the assumption many have the plugin, then you'd resort immediately to dhtml for even more have a generation 4 browser!!), and provided you don't care a bit that the W3C never set one single reccomandation on compiled languages for web use, like flash involves...

I never understood why an ad loaded on a powerful support like a web page should confine itself to banners and pop-ups, pop-ups and banners when it is possible to discriminate between so many objects and behaviours (Both of them!). And all this wholly on client side: no Server involved! A cutting edge lowering cost/burdens solution! Moreover, discriminating allows you to load the ad the user may be really interested in, instead of nagging him with something he probably doesn't want.

1. The first set is a radio button set [the images of the charming model appearing upon checking man option is from Torrid Taylor Website] simulating a choice that an user might perform within whatever web form as the ones you're certainly familiar with.
   Ever considered that the internet is the only medium where you can really tailor ads accordingly to the user? Never, did you?